LisaListed

The best things in life aren't things at all


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10 Things To Stop Complaining About Tis This Season

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Complaining has become a national pastime. It’s been a gradual process, a creep of grumbling and carping that started out kind of wry, then, over time, became full-on obnoxious. We even complain about good things now, because it’s supposed to be cute or coy—implying that we don’t take ourselves too seriously. We call our kids “a-holes,” go on and on about our high rents and mortgage payments in our comfortable neighborhoods, bemoan about the weather … IT CANNOT ALWAYS BE EITHER TOO HOT OR COLD!

Seriously, people?

Do we need some outright hardship to remind us of how great we have it?

starving kid

Nothing induces as much groaning and whining as the holidays, which have all the ingredients for the perfect self-pity pie: family, money, subtext and weather delays.

Enough is enough! If you have something to complain about this holiday season that isn’t a grave illness diagnosis, bankruptcy or a surprise serial-killer spouse, then shut up and sit down.

Here’s the list of the top 10 least bitch-worthy holiday gripes:

1. Houseguests

Yes, it’s taxing to have extra bodies crowding your couch, talking at you when you just want to watch TV after a long day, and generally changing the air quality in your home. But how lovely to have people who want to come and stay with you. And a home.

annoying houseguest

2. Family (even if they’re #1, above)

They anger you, they frustrate you, they infuriate you. With a single raised eyebrow or shift in intonation, they cause you to revert to a cranky 7-year-old. But they’re yours, and you’re theirs, and—give or take one (or two of them)—you will miss them when they’re gone. So be grateful you even have a family whether they are near or far.

3. Eating too much

If it’s really a problem, don’t do it.

stuffing face

Just! Stop! Eating!

Simple, right?

But if you’re going to eat—a lot or a little—savor it and start fresh tomorrow. But above all, do not complain because you have too much food. That’s just disgusting. And if you DO have too much food… give some of it away to people who would truly appreciate it.

4. Spending too much

See above. Just don’t do it. You are not actually contractually obligated to spend more than you have on other people. Anyone who expects that from you sucks.

santa collapse

We put that pressure on ourselves. It’s a choice.

Let’s be real… do you even remember any of the Christmas gifts you received three years ago at the TOP OF YOUR MIND? Didn’t think so. But I bet you do remember when Jimmy accidentally lit the Christmas tree on fire three years ago!? Point made.

5. Work parties

You have a job. Shut up.

unemployment

6. Vegetarians/Vegans/Gluten-freegans/Pesca-what’s-a-tarians

Hey! How nice! You have friends!

Friends who have beliefs and care about their bodies!

And who want to come over and eat at your house and spend time with you!

Must be tough…

santa vegan

7. People spoiling your children

But seriously now…people love your children, and children love to be loved and spoiled once in a while. This is definitely not the worst problem anyone has ever had. Some people show their love through expensive Christmas gifts… so thank them, appreciate them and be grateful that there are people out there who like your booger fingered kids.

8. If you’re too old to write to Santa, then don’t even dare writing a “wish list”

But for real… isn’t this the most obnoxious thing about Christmas? Handing somebody a list of items that you want them to buy you?! Yeah, yeah, yeah, I hear ALL of your excuses… but none of them are valid. Nope, not even that one… NONE OF THEM! They all suck. And so does your wish list. Go buy everything yourself.

Don’t know what to get your friend or family member? How is that possible… you don’t speak to them and you don’t know their likes and dislikes?! Maybe instead of exchanging wish lists you should actually start by having a conversation once in a while.

If you are REALLY stuck get them a damn gift card – and to all you people who bitch and complain about receiving free money, then why don’t you just give that “awful, thoughtless gift” to the next homeless person you see on the street. At least somebody will appreciate it.

Pissed off that you spend way more money on somebody than they spent on you?  Looks like you need to revisit #4 again

 

holiday to do list

9. Weather

It’s either too hot, too cold. Too windy, too glumy. Too rainy, too sunny. Too much hail. Too much drought.

Complaining about the weather is a full time job… and what exactly do you think complaining could possibly do to change it!?

Especially at Christmas… there aren’t songs about a non-white Christmas! So shut up, suit up and grab your shovel. Or if you live in a land where there isn’t any snow at Christmas time and can roam the streets in your bathing suit… you best be shutting up extra hard.

weather

10. Travel

You have people to go see and the disposable income to buy a plane/train/stagecoach ticket. The crowds are terrible, people behave in direct opposition to the principles of the holiday spirit, and the inner Scrooge residing in your deepest core is stretching and yawning, awake again after a 51-week nap. But that’s what you signed up for when you planned this trip and chose to go somewhere else at the busiest time of year. You’re going because, for better or worse, you want to be with people you care about, who care about you, at a time when our hearts are cracked open just a teeny bit more than usual. You’re traveling to share love—just like all the other millions of nasty-faced assheads standing in the security line behind you. So when your patience is threadbare and you’re stranded on the tarmac at O’Hare with only one granola bar to split among a family of four, try to remember that we’re all in it together…one big happy holiday human stew.

busy airport

Enjoy Life,
L

Adapted from here
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MOVIE STARS FOR A DAY – Take 1

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Don’t you ever wonder what it would be like to be a movie star for just a day?

To live the lifestyle of the rich and famous?

To have people fawn all over you and want to be you?

To drive fancy cars, to live in big mansions with a cleaning lady and maybe even a pool boy (or girl)…

To get your hair and makeup done, to wear fancy pants clothing, to have perfectly manicured toes and fingers at all times?

To see yourself on a magazine cover and skim the pages of Vogue with an in depth interview of yourself…

Maybe you’ve even pulled your own Kim Kardashian in the hopes of making it big in LA… no judgement here! Okay, that was a big lie, plenty of judgement here!

JUST FOR ONE SINGLE DAY, isn’t that something you have at least WONDERED about at least at one point in your life?

I never had any burning desire to be an actress or a singer. I live in a realistic world and I’ve always known that I would be the worst actress… I can’t lie to save my life and those times I’ve tried to be “fake nice” I’m not fooling anybody. Nor can I sing… my second grade choir teacher suggested to me that perhaps singing was not my forte. Grade 2 teachers crushing dreams left, right and centre…

BUT the world has a funny sense of humour and … well… GUESS WHAT….!!!

A few weeks ago, John and I had the opportunity to be movie stars for a day!!!

How did this happen you ask? Well let me tell you all about it… and like any story, there’s no better way to start then the very beginning, right?! That’s what I thought. So here we go:

I grew up in a small, northern town where the closest Ikea was a 5+ hour drive south. We were pretty isolated to say the least…  It was so small town that everybody knew the mayor, and everybody knew the mayor’s secrets.

When I moved to Calgary, I thought that I was moving to the “big city.” It was in Calgary where I learned that mayors are typically viewed as a local “celebrity”… not just a typical person who you see at the drug store getting their prescriptions filled.  I grew up with the mayor’s son in my class and I didn’t realize until just this very moment that that would possibly be cool if I lived in a big city… but where I grew up, the kid was just another bratty kid who didn’t get any sort of special treatment. And nobody in my class could care less who his parents were. This is how small town I was/am.

When we moved to Chicago I realized that it’s pretty laughable to have once thought that Calgary was the “big city”. I realized quickly how small potatoes Calgary truly was in regards to “big cities”. When we moved here I was on the hunt for three things:

1) Find Oprah

2) Find Chicago Fire or Chicago PD while they were filming

3) Become friends with Melissa McCarthy from Mike & Molly

Since moving to Chicago, John, Ernie and I have gone on so many adventures together around the city. On one of our adventures, I saw green papers taped to every light post…

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When I read the green papers I almost hyperventilated I was so excited! I took a photo of the paper so that I could remember EXACTLY when and where Chicago Fire was being filmed! I thought that I had hit the jackpot… that I was being let in on some confidential super secret that only secret services know about.  And yes, you can bet your bottom dollar that when the day finally arrived for Chicago Fire to be filmed in that certain location Ernie and I went for one hell of a stroll!

I tried to play it cool as bet as I could when I eventually got there. Ernie and I tried to be very casual, pretend like we lived in the area… we walked up and down different streets and sidewalks so that we didn’t appear TOO suspicious or desperate. Mostly desperate. But remember that I’m a terrible actress and I wasn’t able to hid my desperato for too long.. which is how I was able to snap a few photos!! They aren’t the best… but c’mon, I was trying to play it cool!

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This guy was by himself at one point and Ernie and I “HAD” to walk past him… and he totally smiled at us!  I smiled back with a quick n’ cool nod to the guy doing my best to hide my sheer excitement. I also tried to hide the extra pep in my step! It took everything in my will power to hold me back from doing a full on happy dance. I’ve been told that I’m easily impressed.

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They finished filming and I noticed a sign that said “Extras Here”. That got me thinking …  how hard could it possibly be to be an extra!? Probably pretty tough… but I thought that that would be pretty frickin’ cool! I thought that being an extra would be difficult and would mean that I made it in some strange way that I never attempted to make. I got myself super excited (super excited is probably a very large understatement) and convinced myself that I would be an extra for Chicago Fire one day! I figured being an extra was still pretty awesome and that I could add it to my bucket list solely to check it off. Who wouldn’t want to live the glitzy life for just a day!?

As my dear husband knows, when I start to research something… I cannot help but do a full on research paper that includes hours upon hours of due diligence. I can’t help it… it’s in my blood. I could never understand the research that my Dad would put into buying a car… but now I TOTALLY get it and I’m the exact same way. Props to my Dad as he had to break more of a sweat than I did as I’ve been fortunate enough to use Google for most of my searches. I did “some” research as to how to become an extra for Chicago Fire and/or Chicago PD because I secretly hoped that Sophia Bush and I could maybe become friends or something. I still have that hope. After doing some research, I filled in some questionnaires for a company that casts Extras for Chicago Fire and I sent along some photos. I figured that this was actually pretty awesome and that I should sign John up too! What would be the chances that we would actually get to be extras anyhow? Slim pickings, right??? I figured that the pickings were in fact so slim, that it was not necessary to inform John that I had signed him up. Oops.

It was a Friday evening, and John had just gotten home from work at almost 9:00pm. He had an especially long week at work, and I could tell that he was absolutely exhausted. He was beat. He was looking forward to waking up on his own terms the next morning and I couldn’t blame the poor guy. So while John was still in his shirt and tie after coming home from a long ass week, I checked my email…

Low & behold this was sitting in my inbox…:


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“This email is to inform you that you are booked to work as an extra on Saturday, September 13th for the movie (I won’t say the title)”

ARE YOU KIDDING ME!?!??!

I instantly get super excited, John has no idea what the hell is wrong with me, and I excitedly tell him to “CHECK YOUR EMAIL, CHECK YOUR EMAIL!!!”  I can tell the last thing that he wants to do is to read another email, but begrudgingly he checks his email.

And guess what pops up on his screen? You probably guessed wrong…

He had an Inbox of 0!

I know, right? I felt awful.

I quickly fired off a reply to my email and asked if this was for just myself, or for John, or for both as I realized that I did not provide an email address for John when I signed him up. I get an immediate reply saying that it is for both of us!!!!

I get super excited AGAIN and tell John:

“TOMORROW WE ARE GOING TO BE IN A MOVIE!!!!”

———-

Stay tuned, my lovely, for Part 2 where I tell you about our day as Movie Stars!! (aka extras… but let’s not get into semantics)

Enjoy Life,
L

Read Take 2 here…