When I was a little girl, and even into my late teenage years, I used to dream up the perfect man who I was going to marry. Can you be a hopeless romantic when you’re 5 years old? I surely was and I still am. I used to wonder what his name would be. I used to wonder how tall he would be. I used to wonder a lot about him and about us. I used to watch all sorts of lovey dovey movies and just imagine what a love like that would feel like. *dramatic sigh*
These are some of the qualities that my dream man would have:
I really didn’t think that I was asking for too much. Once I entered the dating world, I understood better why I was told that this man only exists in fairytales. Finding a honest and funny man who loved me for me deemed to be more difficult than what my child and teenage self could have ever imagined. I dated people who brought out the worst in me, who made me question my own self, who wanted different things out of life than what I wanted. I was told at one point that the love that I wanted didn’t exist and that there was nobody else in the world who would love me as much as the person I was currently dating would. I was told that the man I was longed for only existed in fairytales and that I needed to be more realistic. I knew in my gut and heart that the kind of love that I was looking for surely wasn’t too much to be asking for.
The first time I met John, I knew that there was something different about him. I instantly felt something with him that I had never felt before. We laughed and talked for three hours straight. My face had never hurt so much as it did that night – my cheeks were on fire from smiling so much and my stomach hurt from laughing so much. I couldn’t remember ever feeling this way! The first time we met, we talked about absolutely everything you could possible talk about. We talked about everything you’re not supposed to talk about. Everything from religion to finances to dishwasher etiquette and absolutely everything in between. It was amazing that we had so many similarities and common interests. If John hadn’t had hockey that night, I’m not sure we ever would have left.
As time went on, I knew that there was something special between us. We both knew. We couldn’t spend enough time with each other and saying ‘bye’ to each other at the night of the night often times took hours. I had met somebody who brought out the best in me, who made me want to be a better person, and somebody who just understand me on a level that nobody else ever has before. Early on into our relationship, John sent me a message that said “LJFL”. I asked him what that meant and he said “Lisa and John For Life”. Still to this day, we sign many cards with “LJFL”.
When John tells me that he loves me, I can feel it. He doesn’t just say the words out of habit or because he feels like he should, every single time he has told me that he loves me, I can feel that he means it. And I him. I can’t exactly put my finger on any one quality of John’s that makes him so perfect in my eyes, but there are somethings in this world that words don’t have to define.
Each time I have been sick or unwell, John always goes out of his way to make me feel better. He always does something just to make me feel special. By the way that he takes care of me, I can see what an incredible father he will someday be and nothing warms my heart more than that thought. John is the man who will surprise me at the airport with a bouquet of flowers. He’s the kind of man who will give me a back massage solely because he knows how much I love them. John is the kind of man who will go out of his way to ensure that I know that I will always come first to him. He is the kind of man who used to commute 30 minutes each way just to surprise me at lunch time to see me for a few minutes during the day. John is the man who would do anything to be my everything. He’s the one who always gives me the last bite of dessert when we share. He’s the one who can make me smile and laugh when I don’t want to. John is the kind of person that I want our future children to look up to.
I did not marry the man of my dreams. I did not marry the man who I envisioned spending my life with. Who I envisioned growing old with. Who I envisioned having children with. No, I did not marry the perfect man from my dreams after all…
I married John and he is a man who I could have never dreamed up in my wildest dreams. He surpasses any version of a man who I had ever hoped to marry.
John is my real life fairytale.
I love you, I didn’t know what true love was until I met you.